Wednesday, April 23, 2014

~My Five Star Review of Vital Sign by J L Mac~


~Synopsis~
 
I used to have a great life. My little world was bright. I had no complaints. My perfectly simple life made the fall from grace that much more devastating. I plummeted from the heavenly little bubble that I shared with Jake. I fell fast and hard straight into the fiery pits of hell. The knowledge of how things used to be is a bittersweet torture that refuses me even one moment of respite. I live in a painful reverie that I can’t escape.
I had it good once.
That’s gone now.
All of it disappeared like vapor into the ether. I’m a lost woman, wandering through grief and struggling to come to terms with my new title: widow. My family says I need understanding and closure. I say a cigarette and a bottle of wine is a much better option for instant gratification.
I’m the awkward, depressed one standing in the corner making everyone around me miserably uncomfortable. I’m the one with vacant eyes that society strives to help but can’t. I’m the one who hands out tight smiles and derisive snorts. I’m the widow adrift in this world with no direction. No meaning. No hope. No vital sign.

***

Sadie sets out on a journey to healing without knowing that things will get far worse before they get better. Despite her general indifference to organ donation, she finds herself on a journey to seek out the only people who benefited from her husband’s tragic death.
Resentment runs rampant as she meets the thriving organ recipients. Anger and jealousy spiral, sending the delicate structure of Sadie’s emotions into a tailspin.
Alexander McBride got a second chance—one that he didn’t necessarily want. Alexander is a game changer for Sadie. She hates him for his health but can’t help feeling at home in his presence. He soothes her grief in a way that is intoxicating, addictive even.
The heart that once fell in love with her now resides in Alexander McBride’s chest. It’s a circumstance that forces her to wage an internal war fueled by grief, anger, guilt, love, lust, and loyalty.
Sadie must discover the things that are vital to going on with her life if she has any hope of finding her way through the all-consuming grief that dominates every waking moment

~My Review~
 
Five Valuable, Vital Sign Stars
 
Have you ever lost someone you love?  Of course you have.  We all have, but not all of us have lost someone, our husband, the person we plan to spend the rest of our lives with, at the very young, tender age of 26.
 
Sadie has lost her husband, the love of her life, her other half.  She is left with so much grief, anger, loneliness, guilt, overwhelming sadness and no hope.  All of the emotions that one would expect to come with such a tragedy.
 
  In my opinion Vital Sign was one of the very best books I have read to describe, realistically, everything from emotional, devastating heartbreak to sadness, anger and ultimately the possibility of trying to heal.  I find myself speechless in trying to write this review, to find the appropriate words. 

I did, however, find that reading this was very valuable to me in terms of helping and giving me a better understanding of what it's like for those that have been in this position because, quite frankly, I have no idea what I would do or how I would feel and I don't think anyone else would either until it happens.
 
Sadie hates life, she hates people and pretty much just, everything.  She has no hope nor does she give a damn.  She is not a happy person and my heart broke for her.
 
"My grass is freshly cut.  My driveway is neatly edged.  You'd think that someone who actually gives a damn lives here at 803 Chestnut Lane.  Not so much.  Not even close."
 
"I'm fucking sick of life and I haven't made a single effort at hiding it."
 
Sadie struggles, daily, through the life she has now, adjusting to things she never thought she would have to adjust to and just trying to move forward.  Sadly, she just doesn't know who she is anymore and basically terrified of many things.
   
"Everyone was thrilled with where life was going and I was trying to adjust to sleeping alone."
 
With some encouragement from her family, she has decided to meet three people that benefited from her husbands organs, namely, his liver, his kidney and finally his heart.  This deems difficult no doubt and in Sadie's mind so unfair.  She hates them all!  Or so she thinks.
 
Then we meet Zander.  I read the first email exchange between Zander and Sadie and that was all it took for me to fall in love with him.  Crazy? maybe (shrugs) but neh you will see, trust me!

"I know his name is Alexander McBride, he's twenty-nine years old, and he's the person that's walking around with Jake's heart in his chest. I dislike him already."

and Sadie meets Zander.

Intense and emotional come to mind.

"I wondered who's world had just fallen apart as mine came together.  I wondered who the person was that loved the donor most.  I wondered who it was that had me feeling an insurmountable heap of guilt simply for needing the transplant and then living through it.  I wondered who I owed my life to."

WOW
 
I am now speechless.  The two of them related to each other in more ways than one.  The time they spent together was beautiful and passionate yet challenging, especially for Sadie.  Can you imagine?   The intensity of it all!  I would love to tell you so much more but what fun would that be? 

"Whatever I am, whatever he is, we are one in the same." ~Sadie

You need to experience this awesome read for yourself.  I did not want it to end.  You will find yourself completely engulfed in their world, asking questions, getting frustrated, struggling right along with them and ultimately, completely falling in love.

Can Sadie let Jake go?  Can she move on without him?  Will she learn to live and just be.  Can she truly be happy in her new found life and will it be with Zander? 

"I don't hate you," I cry.  "I'm glad that you're alive.  I guess-I guess that sometimes I'm just not glad that I am."  My admission feels like it's more for me than it is for him.

What has Zander been through in his life to need a heart transplant at such a young age?  How will he cope with his feelings for Sadie, can he express them and not scare her away?

Yep, I could torture you all day and leave you in complete suspense, but don't let me do that to you!  Go get a copy of Vital Sign and read it for yourself.  My only disappointment was it had to end and I didn't want it too!

I cried reading this book and I cried writing this review ,but I also laughed, smiled and felt all the emotion wrapped up in Sadie and Zander's world!  We all feel and take in things so differently, but I challenge you and encourage you to read this book.  Yes, it may be difficult for some, but I feel, in my heart, that it is totally worth it.  I take my reading very serious and I always want to walk away with something.  I walked away from reading Vital Sign with a whole lot!

It's no secret I am a huge fan of J L Mac's.  She rocks, as a person and as an author.  Thank you, J L Mac, for your stories, your friendship (even if we haven't met in person yet), the complimentary copy of this book and by all means thank you for this wonderful, emotional and powerful journey that is quite realistic
and
Last but not least thank you for Zander!  oh and Damon ;0)!

In spite of myself, you are my truth.  you are my constant.  You are my proof of life.  You are my vital sign.  With you, I more than breathe-I live. 

A couple more quotes I highlighted.
 
Everyone needs forgiveness, even from themselves.

I had no way of knowing that resisting grief also meant resisting life.

This is a standalone.  The main characters are some I will never forget and a favorite book of mine for 2014!  I also enjoyed the secondary characters as well, along with the role that each of them played in this story.

Zander goes on my book boyfriend list too!!

Add it to your Goodreads

J L Mac on Goodreads


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