Thursday, June 5, 2014

~It's that TIME again..............~

Yep it is time for a post/rant.  A post about Authors, a sense of entitlement some readers/people have from said authors and my thoughts on all this.

Again I will tell you, please keep in mind that this is solely my opinion and some of you may or may not agree with what I say here and that's okay.  I don't know everything nor do I pretend I do but I do like to educate myself and I also like to have conversations with others in hopes of understanding and learning from one another.

so here it is.....

I find myself completely frustrated in the author/book world with certain people and this sense of entitlement, I keep seeing/reading about, in which cases they (the readers/others) demand people, namely authors, do certain things.  For example GIVE ME some signed books or swag or whatever for my giveaways.  Tell me when your next book is going to be out so if it's not I can harass you incessantly.  Tell me it is a series, or an hea or a cliffhanger so I can leave you a bad review because of this and bitch incessantly about such books. 

Yes, I recently had a nice discussion about cliffhangers and we agreed to disagree.  Too much to type but I am a grown up and I respected what others had to say on the matter.   

We are all human and we all feel differently about numerous things.

For the record I host giveaways, here on the blog every Friday and I DO NOT demand, nor do I even ask for authors to donate!  My choice.  I buy it myself as a way to thank my fans/followers and share books with others.  If an author offers that is different.  There was a small time frame where I asked if anyone would like to donate but I DID NOT demand it and quickly changed the way I did things on my blog and Facebook page.

I went to an author signing, my first one, back in December but I did not expect nor demand that they give me swag, books, etc.  I didn't even ask.  They did, of course, have swag that you could pick up for FREE but even if they didn't I would not have expected it.  Sure, I may have been disappointed but meeting them was a wonderful thing and enough in itself.

All of this(books, swag, etc) cost the authors money.  It isn't free to them so why do we think it SHOULD be free to us.  You will find generosity in some cases and not in others but it should never be demanded.  Manners can play a huge role also, something I think many just don't have anymore or sadly, they weren't raised that way or taught.

Authors are becoming more aware of these things that are happening and they are less likely to give because of it.  I don't blame them at all.

All that^^^ being said I think we need to keep in mind that NO ONE HAS TO give anyone anything and since we are talking about authors then if you would like to keep reading then you can read the following about how I feel on the matter (you may disagree and are certainly (entitled) too yes entitled!  you ARE entitled to your own opinion lol....  

They don't have to donate to your or anyone else's giveaway.

They don't have to give or donate to any charity or function just like YOU don't have to either.

They don't have to promise you anything what so ever!!  It all relates to choices. 

Authors choose what they want to do and they have that right to do that just like we do.

With choices come consequences.  Good, bad, whatever. 

Some things to also keep in mind.

Their writing is a form of art.  They can do it any way they choose.  Do you tell an artist how to paint or draw?  Do you tell a designer how to design their dresses or other items of clothing?  I am thinking NO!  You may want or wish for them to do it this way or that way.

I design jewelry but no one tells me how to design it!  They may show me something but artists get their inspiration from various things.

Authors can write one book and never write another one.  They can write 15000 books.  They can have cliffhangers or series or whatever comes out of their minds/brains.  Some will like it and some will not!  That is with everything in life.

Do they take chances by doing some of the above?  Yes, they do.

BUT

at the end of every single day they (authors) DO NOT OWE US ANYTHING!!   Yes, we are their fans and we have a choice on whether to buy their books or not so some authors may feel that they owe their fans certain things and that is okay too.

You all are probably thinking wow she is going to bat for the authors?  and my answer is simply this...Your damn right I am!  Because let me tell you if it wasn't for any of them WE WOULD NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO READ!!  I am also venting.  >:) and expressing my opinion, please keep this in mind.  I don't want a cookie or a pat on the back I just wanna talk so to speak.

Why do some people feel like these authors owe us something?  Well sadly I don't know this answer and I am sure there are many complex answers.  Some people have this sense of entitlement which you can google and find all kinds of info on.  Get in depth with the psychology of it, I suppose, where people with personality disorders have certain problems with a sense of entitlement.  Some can't or simply don't know how to have empathy for others.  

I am one of those people that almost always tries to understand and put myself in someone else's shoes.

Lots of reasons are behind this.


Sense of Entitlement Definition:


Sense of Entitlement - An unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.

GREAT READING HERE

I chose a few paragraphs from the link, great reading here, above.

What is entitlement? It is the unreasonable expectation that one should receive special treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations. For the narcissist, they come first. They are unable to feel empathy towards others and therefore they operate from their own need base. When they speak, others are to jump. They somehow believe they are special and unique and should be treated so.

We can't change others. But, we can tune into self. We can give self-compassion and gently deal with our own feelings and as soon as we do, it has a calming effect. It also instantly helps to see the concerns and plight of others.

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself you can't be comfortable with others." Sydney J. Harris

LOVE THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Well that is it in a nutshell so thank you for reading and by all means please feel free to comment below.




6 comments:

  1. I experience a sense of entitlement with my students and parents on a daily basis. It had to start somewhere, but I have no idea where. Perhaps the exhausted parents giving in and buying the toy just to hush the child's tantrum instead of disciplining and being consistent? It's a learned behavior. As far as bloggers and readers DEMANDING free things from authors, I have only one thing to say: Nothing in life is free except the right to vote and the air we breathe. Even those things aren't truly free because we pay a price with our health and political ramifications. I do not ask for donations for the books (signed or not signed) I might giveaway. I always purchase them or offer to purchase them as MY thank you for the entertainment and MY duty as a patron of the art of literature.

    Why don't we just sit back, pay for the book that it costs the author to write, publish, purchase a cover for, and market; and be thankful that we were given a bit of entertainment that allowed us a false reality for a short while. And THAT is my opinion. Roger Wilco, over and out, 10-4 good buddy, see you on the flip side, yada yada.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can only imagine what you deal with every day as a teacher. lovely comment. Take care of yourself woman.

      Delete
  2. I agree 100% ! I love to win free books, swag and other fun things from the author & blog giveaways. Each author is really a small business. It is hard work to run a business and it costs lots of money. I get very frustrated when I read some of the "bad" reviews. A book can not be bad just because it has HEA or a Cliffhanger ending! I get really mad at the people who give bad reviews because they don't like the price of a book. Nobody made them buy it! Ugh!!! I read more than the average person because I am bed bound. I read all types of genres and both Indy and authors signed to publishing houses. I will read first time authors. I know how authors poor their hearts and souls into their books. Thank you for writing this blog and hosting giveaways.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for stopping by and commenting :0)

      Delete
  3. I love to enter giveaways and have been fortunate to win tons of cool books, swag, gift cards, etc. I always try to publicly (on FB) thank the author and/or blog when I've won something.

    I have strong feelings about cliffhanger books. Honestly, I usually won't read them. I think that if a book has a cliffhanger ending, it should clearly state that in the description of the story. Then a person can make an informed decision about whether they want to invest additional time and money to see how the story ends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is wonderful that you have won and thanked them :0) I do understand what you are saying about cliffhangers and whether or not to spend the money and time. Money is tight for many and we all know about time. Thank you for commenting :)

      Delete