Wednesday, July 17, 2013


I just wanted to share this post and my thoughts about what I see off and on in the blogging/author/social media world.  I am not someone who knows it all or thinks they know it all.  I am a very honest, loyal and respectful person but I am not perfect.  I get along with just about everyone and am easy to get along with in return.  I have learned and been through a whole lot in my 38 years of life, so far, and I like to share my thoughts with the world, sometimes.  I can only hope what I have to say will affect you in a positive way. 

I may not understand a lot of things just as you may not either, but that just makes me/us human.

There is a lot of drama in the world we live in, whether it's a shooting, a natural disaster, a bad storm, health issues and well, pretty much just about anything you can think of.  Naturally, there is also drama in the book blog/author/reader world.  This should be of NO SHOCK TO YOU!  Where am I going with all of this?  Keep reading if you are interested and you will see.  These are just my thoughts and my thoughts alone.  I cannot help how anyone else will interpret them!

Let's look at the definition of drama shall we.  There were several, but I chose this one:  any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or resultsReference here.

LIFE HAS DRAMA!  GOOD BAD OR INDIFFERENT!  We on the other hand have CHOICES!  We can immerse ourselves into it, feed it like a fish or we can simply step away from it.  If we immerse ourselves into it then that is our choice but nine times out of ten it's not fun!  Feelings get hurt, people get upset, they get angry and they say things they don't mean.  They talk about it, they stir it up and then bring it to a boil which ultimately will spill over and make a big ugly mess.  Sometimes we can only take so much. 

Sadly, some people do this for the wrong reasons.  They get attention or stand out this way.  Have you ever heard that saying, negative attention is better than no attention at all?  Think about that for a minute.  Sometimes they even think that what they are doing is for the right reasons.

Misconstrued is also an important word I would like to point out in this post and it's meaning is to misunderstand the meaning of; take in a wrong sense; misinterpret.

Let me be as clear as I can here.  We ALL have a right to express ourselves, speak freely and live our own lives.  Unfortunately how we express ourselves will affect everyone differently and that cannot be helped!  People will misconstrue what you say.  It happens!

There is always something going on every minute of every day and especially in the social media world.  It is a very fast paced world and things spiral quickly, especially involving drama and sadly, things go downhill at the speed of light and very rarely, do they go uphill.  

What is most difficult about expressing yourself in the social media world is that people can't actually "see" you they can only read what you type.  This can basically go any and every single which way you can imagine.  People also have the ability to copy what we say/type in a post and spread it all around inviting yet more people to read it, interpret it in their own way and contribute to it making it grow like a dreadful cancer.

The point is, while your intentions might mean one thing they can be perceived as many different things.  This however is out of your control.  Women and yes, I am one of them, are the worst at dealing with and/or participating in the drama.  We are all guilty!  I don't know why, we just are!  Throw in some young adults, some older adults, some menopause, some pms, some mixed hormones, different lifestyles and different thoughts, oh good lord you get the point here.  It can be a MESS!  We can be vultures I tell ya!

All I am saying is own what you "say"/type, be responsible for your words and your actions.  If someone takes it the wrong way that person should be able to confront you and ask you what your meaning of it was.  They still may not understand, but all you can do is be honest!  Is this done, NO.  Why?  I believe because of fear, confrontation etc.  I mean not everyone likes confrontation.  But if you don't ask the source this can/will lead to misconstruing what was said, taking it with you and telling someone else who will perceive it in their own way and so on until it has reached a gazillion different people who ALL perceive it differently and thus we are thrown into a world of DRAMA, BASHING, UGLINESS, FRUSTRATION, NEGATIVITY....yadda yadda yadda.  Some people won't tolerate it and they have that right because they don't have to.  They will avoid you, they will back away and you will find yourself puzzled about the whole situation.  

I feel like the only thing people can do to help these situations is to be honest, be respectful and ask questions.  Some of us will do this and some of us won't.  It all boils down to choices.

Expectations is another very important word!  Definition:  something expected; a thing looked forward to.  Be careful with expectations because your expectations will not always be what you want them to be.  

There are also people that feed on drama.  Why we may ask?  Who the hell knows.  Look what the fucking media does for pete's sake and we watch/listen/share it.  The people that enjoy the drama have their own reasons and while I'm sure we might not have a friggin clue why, they do.  They may not see it as drama.  They may see it as a way to express their opinions which we are ALL entitled too but why are we shocked when someone comes back at us.  Some people are braver than others but you need to be able to handle it and if you can't you have a choice to leave it alone and/or move on.  I have said this so many times LIFE IS TOO SHORT.  Do we all want to get along, yes of course we do but logically and realistically that doesn't always happen.

Sometimes we all have to agree to disagree.  I, for one, DON'T LIKE DRAMA AT ALL.  Have I participated in some things that create drama?  Yes, absolutely, but I know when to walk away and leave it alone because I have that choice.  I think people forget their purpose in life, whatever they choose it to be.  I think we forget to step outside the box and into someone else's shoes or to look at the bigger picture.  Do we have to do this?  No, but it might be helpful in the way we look at things!

I think bloggers need to stop and think about why they truly blog!  I do it because I enjoy it.  Is it like work absolutely but again it's my choice and with that comes a whole lot of stuff some good and some bad.  It's my choice how I react to and deal with it.  Authors write because it is their passion and they need us just like we need them.  Some of you may disagree and that is okay!  I do however think the following post also bears repeating because it has so much truth and meaning to it.


At the end of the day we are all human and we are all different!  My God if we were all the same what a boring place this world would be.  We all make mistakes and we are not perfect!!!!  No one person is above or better than any other person!  We all need love, compassion, understanding and we all need help at some point or another.

I always say this because it bares repeating and I believe it is important.  I am responsible for my words and mine alone, whether they are said to your face or typed out on a computer.  I am also responsible for my actions and my thoughts alone.  I am not responsible for anyone else's and most importantly we can't change other people!

I choose to take all the positive that comes with blogging.  Wonderful bloggers and authors I have met, to the discussions I have had and sharing what I love with the book world.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and I do read your comments :0)  Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read it!

<3 Tanya


  1. Fabulous post Tanya! You nailed this one!

  2. I just completely loved this! I for one deal with drama on a daily basis (at work). There are some people who thrive on the DRAMA. People who just love to say and do things to screw people over and there are others who just don't know how to be "real". Its nothing we can escape but as you said make the choice and WALK AWAY! Again I loved it!!! :)

    1. Thank you Maggie!! Feel free to share it!

  3. Eloquent as usual!! Drama sucks. And hell yes, we must watch what we "type". People can twist that shit.

    Adore you, Tanya!!