Sunday, March 9, 2014

~My Five Star Review of Therapy by Kathryn Perez~


Five Jumbled Jessica, Just Jace,  and Kick Ass Kingsley Stars

Writing reviews for books is never easy, in my opinion, because for me, it is extremely important.  I worry about it just like author's worry about their books and I do not like spoilers, nor do I like spoiling it for everyone else.  What I do like to do is express my feelings and be honest in hopes of intriguing other readers enough to want to buy and experience the story for themselves.  

Therapy is a very deep, intense, emotional read and I highly recommend it!  I will warn you, it is not all peaches and cream.  It is real, raw, emotional and deals with some heavy, but what I would consider important real life issues.  Bullies, Cutting, Depression, Loss, Love, Forgiveness, Anger, Suicide and Alcoholism are many of those sensitive subjects many many people face every day in the real world.

I believe this book will touch many people in many different ways.  I hope that it will also help others that don't understand but want to!  I was deeply touched by some things in this book.  I also learned several other things that I didn't know and wanted to know as well as understand.  One of those things being cutting. While I could never, myself, do that, I don't dare judge and I was able to see a bigger picture with Jessica.

I want to feel something; to know that I'm here, that I'm alive.

That's why I cut.  I control that pain, own it.  I can start it or stop it on my own terms.

We start with Jessica, a senior in high school, quiet, a swimmer, a loner, ignored, friendless, beautiful but bullied.  There are so many things wrong here and it truly broke my heart.  You will see the beginnings of her struggles and the main one is bullying.  Her peers are none other than relentless in hurting her verbally, emotionally and later on physically.

I wonder what's worse-the invisible scars they leave or the visible scars I inflict upon myself?

Being silent may seem weak, but staying silent takes more strength than they'll ever know.

Jessica deals with all of this the only way she knows how.

My mom drinks coffee with a shot of liquor to start her day.
I cut myself.

Then there is the meaningless sex with too many boys to count and the drinking.  So clear she needs Therapy but she is basically alone in her world and her parents are completely clueless to say the least!!

Sex is my way of connecting, another way to feel something.  I guess sex equals love for me since I have no idea what love really feels like.  It's my version of love and it fills a void, so I continue the vicious cycle of sleeping with every guy I go out with. 

The only comfort Jessica found was this:

Putting pen to paper is comforting to me; my journal is the only place I can release my demons and voice my fears.

Only it was also in the form of  beautiful poetry.

Throughout the book I had a deep, passionate need for her to find some sort of peace, some answers, some real friends and possibly love, if for nothing more than to just love herself!

I just want to be wanted.  Loved.

Then there is Jace, the popular, good looking athlete who basically comes to her rescue in a round about sort of way.  After this takes place they engage in a friendship which ultimately would blossom into more.  I really liked Jace but didn't understand his motives until some revelations came out about his sister and then I understood him more.  I didn't really see their relationship as a healthy one though because Jace thought he could fix her.  I'm not saying I didn't believe he truly cared for her because he did and I believe they loved each other very much.  But, you cannot fix anyone, especially someone in Jessica's situation.  It doesn't work that way.  

I'll fix you, Jess.
Let me make it better.

Jace's friendship and what he said to her was much more positive than anyone had done or said so far.

"You're worth more than you think.  You just have to believe that;  then everyone else will too."

Something happens after they graduate from high school that will change the course of Jessica's and Jace's lives.  You will meet Jace's mother, whom I did not care for at all, and you will see that while she is a loving mother to him, she involves herself in certain things that are quite shocking.

Six years pass by before Jess and Jace reacquaint themselves with one another and it is at this moment that Jess learns of Jace's engagement to Victoria.  Another character I despised.

There are so many twists and turns in this book that it will keep you reading until the very end.  What some people are capable of will blow your mind.  You will cry and you will get mad.  I did find myself at about 30% saying I need a break. so I put my kindle down.  I did this because this poor girl had been through so fucking much I was like holy hell I need a breather.  I didn't stay away long lol.

Jessica does enter therapy at this point, sadly it is not on her own free will but mandated by a judge.  She does learn what her diagnosis is and she acquires a therapist as well as going to group therapy but she is just not sure it will help.

Years and years of therapy couldn't fix all that's wrong with me.

Now we meet one of my favorite characters, Kingsley (in a way he reminded me of Kellan Kyle)  I fell in love with Kingsley immediately and my only wish was that there was more of him.  The way he first interacted with Jessica was very intriguing and what he would later teach her was more powerful than I have words for.  

We don't meet people by accident.  They're meant to cross our path for a reason.

There was no doubt these two would also fall in love.

FAVORITE PART AND FAVORITE QUOTE

"Jessica, you're my here, my there, my always everywhere.  Together or apart, you've awakened a part of me that's been locked away for the past year.  I love you and if loving you is wrong, then I don't ever want to be right."

I would say that the letter was one of the most heart wrenching things I read in this book.  I couldn't see my kindle because of the tears! 

Unless you live through depression, you can never fully grasp it.  It consumes my days and haunts my nights.  And I'm tired, Kingsley.  So tired.

The thought of hurting you was more painful than hurting myself.

I know I smile for you and I know you're confused by it.  But I smile for the world because my smile is my protection

Kathryn Perez is a very brave woman and a fantastic writer.  I enjoyed this story so much!  There were some shocking moments that completely devastated me and while they did make me very unhappy, nothing kept me away from reading this amazingly, emotional story.  As I have always said, many many times before, it wasn't my story to tell.  In my opinion any book that can make you feel as many things that you will feel while reading Therapy is a powerful fucking book and one I am glad I had the pleasure of reading.

Thank you Kathryn for sharing such an intense book with such delicate, yet very serious issues.  I tend to find myself speechless when trying to find the right words and yes even after writing this rather lengthy review LOL.

Powerful words

You are stronger than you know.

Self-doubt can cripple a person faster than fear ever will.

Until you've experienced depression, or a form of depression, you can't ever really know how strongly it controls you.

This quote was not in the book but one I always use~Never judge what you don't understand!

THE STORY WAS FICTION, BUT THE MESSAGES WERE NOT.

Go get your copy and read on now :0)!!


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